After Live At Leeds, I did stay away from Prides. I had tickets for all 3 dates of Dot To Dot festival and to see Prides at the Lighthouse in Glasgow, but I didn't go to any of these events.
However, I did still go to Barn On The Farm festival, at which Prides were playing, as I had arranged to go with my friend and also my favourite artist was also playing there. I didn't plan to actually watch Prides, but my friend obviously wanted to see them as they are still her favourite band, and when it came to their set I stayed with her and I saw them play and it was all good. It did feel a bit weird watching a band who I knew had blocked and hated me. But I was enjoying the festival so much it didn't really matter at the time. (By the way, Barn On The Farm is such a lovely festival, I recommend it to everyone!)
The Monday after Barn On The Farm, Prides were doing a live session at XFM in Manchester. XFM had done a competition for people to win tickets to this, and I was one of the lucky winners...
I hadn't entered this competition for myself; my friend was desperate to go to this, so I entered with the intention of giving her my ticket if I won and she didn't. But then we both ended up winning tickets - and each ticket came with a plus one too! I did feel excited to have actually won something and to have the chance to visit the XFM studio, and as I couldn't find anyone to give my tickets to, I decided to go.
When we walked into the XFM session room, Prides said hi to my friends but didn't even look at me. We sat and watched them do several songs and I enjoyed the set, they sounded lovely. Lewis never looked in my direction, but that was fine, I was just enjoying the music.
After they had finished playing, we got told that we could all have a photo with the band on the way out. I wasn't sure I would be allowed one, but I queued up anyway. When it came to my turn, I asked if it was ok for me to have a photo, and Stewart said 'Of course, that's what we're here for'. So I walked forward and stood between Stewart and Lewis. Lewis stared straight ahead and didn't acknowledge I was there. Stewart asked how I was, I said I was good and asked how they were, he and Callum were both friendly and replied, but Lewis remained silent. I asked him 'are you ok Lewis?' He continued staring straight ahead and gruffly said 'yeah'.
We had a couple of photos taken, and I thanked them and started to walk off, but then much to my surprise Stewart said 'thanks for coming!' I know he had to be nice to me because there were people from XFM present, but I was still touched that he thanked me, and it did mean a lot to me. When I got home I tweeted him and thanked him for being so nice and I apologised for the negative things I had said about him in the past, but he ignored me and I still remain twitter blocked by the band. So yeah I know it was all fake niceness from him so he wouldn't look bad in the presence of people from XFM, but still it made me happy at the time and I am grateful for that.
I wasn't surprised that Lewis was so unfriendly towards me, but at least he did let me have these photos with him. I don't know if he was deliberately looking away on the second picture or had just got distracted?!
I did feel quite humiliated that he wouldn't even look at me and did his best to ignore the fact I was there, it felt a bit dehumanizing, especially seeing how friendly he was with everyone else, chatting to them and smiling on their photos. But it was my own fault for putting myself in that situation, what did I expect to happen?!
I know I said it before, but now I really have learned my lesson and I definitely will not go to meet Lewis ever again. He's made it clear that he can't bear to even look at me, and now he will never have to again! I had bought a ticket to Prides' album launch in London (mainly because I thought a member of their team would be there who I wanted to thank, although it doesn't seem that he was) but after what happened at XFM I didn't go. I've heard all about it from my friend though and it sounds an interesting night to say the least..!
A few people have told me that they didn't buy Prides' album 'The Way Back Up' because of how the band had treated me. It's so sweet that people care so much, but honestly, I don't want anyone changing their opinion of Prides because of me. They are a very talented band and I have never known of them to be unkind to any other fans. So please don't stop being a Prides fan because of me. If you read all my posts about the times I met Lewis in the past, you can see what a lovely person he really is and how he made me so happy for many months. Back then, he always made such an effort to be kind to me and he did some special things for me and I will never forget that.
I actually did buy 'The Way Back Up' myself, which some people said I was crazy to do after what had happened. But as I've said before, I still enjoy Prides' music and although I am yet to listen to the full album, I love the songs on it that I already I know and I'm sure I will like the others too. Also, I wanted a copy of the 'fanified' poster and to get my name on it. As I was Prides' 'number 1 fan' (their words not mine) for several months, it seemed only right that I should be a part of it!
Finally I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who read my last post, I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the response I got, I have received kind messages from all over the world! Thank you all, I am so grateful and the kind words mean so much to me. What happened with Prides in February and May did have a very negative effect on me and my mental health, but I feel much happier again now and I am moving on with my life in a positive way. I guess that writing this post might seem like a negative backward step, but it helps me to deal with things by writing them and sharing them, and I wanted to finish my blog anyway as it felt incomplete. I hope I am ending it on a more positive note than my previous post.
Thank you for reading and this really is my final post! No more 'Lewis Prides Fan', just me now. Goodbye!
P.S. Please check out my new blog! http://corvidlady.blogspot.co.uk/